How to Pack More Punch in your Sentences

Economy of writing is an art form all writers must learn if they want readers.

Why? For two reasons:

1. It’s more difficult than ever to get noticed in a sea of self-published, best-selling, author-aficionados. And if you’re not Neil Gaiman or Rainbow Rowell, chances are your book won’t be ripped off the shelves.

      2. The attention span of a normal human now equals that of a goldfish. Yep- a whopping 8 seconds. *Gets             distracted by a cat video montage.*

So if your reader must drag his feet through lengthy, descriptive paragraph after lengthy, emotional, existential paragraph, chances are your reader won’t make it past page one. But don’t panic jellybean. You don’t have to write stories that fit on page five of the Wall Street Journal.

What you do have to do is:

• Tailor your sentences to pack more punch in less space.

• Weave words in a way that’s trademark to your unique voice.

So how do you do it?:

• Study poetry.

• Understand what you really want to say.

• Widen your vocabulary.

KM or Kimmery Moss and Solaire, or Ariana are both dear friends and incredible poets. They write raw, honest, emotional pieces. Please check out more of their poetry and their unique genius by clicking on the picture of their pieces above!

Poetry dignifies the existence of every word used, every sentence crafted.  Poetry strips emotions down until they are naked– until the truth is all that’s left.

By studying poetry, we build up our creative writing arsenal. We are taught what words are capable of, and how emotions can be expressed in simple, yet striking ways.

Lyrics can be just as effective to study. Lyrics are basically “sung poetry”. One of my favorite lines I recently discovered was from one of my favorite artists, PVRIS. This is from their song, “Anyone Else”:

“All my blood once was my own but in one touch you made it yours.”

How beautiful, honest, and eloquent is that statement? Much is said in very few words. And that’s the idea. From simplicity, a thousand feelings bloom.
So study classic, or modern poetry, even study lyrics; give yourself a well-rounded education. You’ll see how words can be molded into beautiful, simple forms and how you can better craft your own sentences.

Poor Root Beer Guy. You’re not alone. 

When we write lengthy or wordy sentences it’s because we aren’t sure what we want to say in the first place. We say a whole lot thinking saying more will express more.

Here’s a sad truth, though, sweet Water Bear: it won’t. Saying a whole lot really means you’re saying nothing at all (that’s something I learned the hard way!)

So here’s the trick. Write down in one sentence exactly what you want to say to the reader.

If you want to say, “Kara doesn’t trust the world or people.” Then write that down. And express exactly that:

“Kara believed the world was a dark, sinister place. She didn’t trust anybody.”

Don’t muddle it with a ton of descriptives, adjectives or lacey metaphors. A bun ton of ‘em only drowns your point, it doesn’t enhance it. It’s all about balance, baby.

Or, why not write down what you want to tell the reader in a bullet point list?

So for example, if you want to describe your steamy, dreamy male protagonist, then list off what you want to address, like so:

• Seafoam green eyes
• Glistening white smile
• Cheek dimples like friggin’ craters

Then, go from there.

Don’t worry about how eloquent the writing is, at first. Simply allow yourself a few takes to write exactly what you want the reader to know about your character.

Take, for example, this awesome description of a character named Scythe Constantine from Thunderhead, the second book in my favorite series, Arc of a Scythe, by Neil Shusterman:

“She recognized his robe right away. Crimson silk that hissed as he walked. His face was soft, almost feminine– the result of having set his age back so many times that his basic bone structure had lost its definition, like river stones eroded by a relentless flow.”

We get both the look of this character and the vibe his presence alone brings to the room. It’s powerful!

The key to remember is to place descriptions in a natural setting and pace them out in appropriate situations.

To help you determine what to say and when, ask yourself these questions before writing a description:

• Do I know what I want to say here?

• Would this descriptor be naturally noticed by another character in this setting?

• Will the reader appreciate this descriptor in this scene?

• Is my descriptor limited to a few sentences or one giant paragraph?

• Does the reader understand what I’m trying to say here?

By expanding your vocabulary, you add impact to your sentences. Below is an example sentence describing the personality of a character named Damien.

How would you shorten this sentence? What words would you replace with stronger words?:

“Damien didn’t play by the rules. He liked to scare drivers by driving his motorcycle very fast and recklessly.”

Instead of saying, “Damien didn’t play by the rules.” we could simply say, “Damien didn’t abide by the rules.” Or, “Damien flirted with consequence.”

And, instead of saying, “He liked to scare drivers by driving his motorcycle very fast and recklessly.” we could say, “He drove his motorcycle like he had a death wish, just to get a rise out of other drivers.”

So this sentence would now read this way:

“Damien flirted with consequence. He drove his motorcycle like he had a death wish, just to get a rise out of other drivers.”

Using big words is great, but crafting powerful sentences is more about using stronger words. In this way, more emotion is elicited in fewer, choicer words. Use prime rib words instead of burger meat words- ya’know?

Writing is all about growth. And I know you can write eloquent sentences that pack more punch. Remember the three keys to reaching this goal is to:

1. Study poetry
2. Understand what you want to say
3. Expand your vocabulary

Are you interested in creating more than just fantastic sentences? How about writing powerful scenes? Or learning how to write your very own fandom-worthy work of fiction?

At Barely Hare Books, we grant wishes. And today yours is coming true, beautiful sunflower!

I’m creating an online course exclusively for teen writers. It’s specifically designed to help young writers learn the fundamentals of great storytelling and craft their very own fandom-worthy novel.

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